Overnight

Matthew called me earlier today asking if I was okay with him working an overnight this Sunday.

He has only done two other overnight shifts since the girls have been born, and that was back when they were still in the hospital.

I couldn't sleep those nights.

I haven't been able to sleep by myself since bedrest.

the couch bed/chair in the case room that family slept on with me for 14 days

Not being next to someone while you sleep, makes you feel like you are back in the hospital again. Brings you back to those days in the hospital. The unknown, the fear, the terror of it all. I wasn't left alone, but I was by myself in bed. Head down. 14 days...

sitting up for the fist time in two weeks, just after giving birth to the girls - Dec 21, 2011

Brings back the emotions.

But its been over a year, my kids are home and safe. I can fall asleep before Matthew comes to bed now.

I'll be fine.

I hope.

But the only way to know is to try.