preemie parent problems

*Warning early pics of the twins ahead*

I don't know what it is but I have discovered that some people believe that I caused my girls premature birth. Not just me, but everyone's. That any issues in pregnancy are caused by the mother not taking care of herself.

Unkie Dew teaching the babies the raptor screech  

This couldn't be further from the truth in my case. I was the healthiest I ever was, and was monitored so closely. Much more closely then I was with my pregnancy with Rhys, because it was twins and well... because we knew of it.

Its not right to assume that an early delivery is because the mom did something wrong. 

Avery - Dec 28, 2011 

It is not kind to say it. 

Gwen - Dec 23, 2011

Trust me the mom already blames herself enough, and has to deal with self apposed guilt. I did everything in my power to keep my girls safe and healthy. It took a long time for me to not blame myself, and I still have moments of blaming me. 

My body failed me.

first time sitting up (after giving birth) in two weeks

I didn't fail it. 

And almost all (I can't say all sadly) the moms I met in the NICU would have given everything to have kept their baby(ies) in longer for them to have been healthier. 

Avery - Jan 24, 2012

Gwen - Jan 22, 2012

So assuming premature birth is completely the fault of the mom for not taking care of herself isn't helping the solution, its adding to the problem. The mom needs all the love and support her family and friends can give while she grieves the baby(ies) she didn't have and the guilt of the premature birth.  

If you are a preemie mom/dad have you come across this? How do you deal with it if you have?