One of "those moms"

I have to admit that I am doing something as a mom that I thought I would never do. Not just before I became a mom, but even up until even as recently as a month ago.

What is it?

I never never thought I'd put a "leash" on my kids, and yes I called it a leash.

Even with strong resistant Rhys I could control the safeness of a walk. There was a few times I would have to grab him up into my arms but by the age of three he was constantly safe not to because he knew not to.

With the girls, I thought I had two hands and if I had three of the kids Rhys is responsible enough to help.

So what has changed?

Miss Gwen

who me???

Gwen is a runner, and unlike her older brother, in a loud parking lot she can't hear me. She won't keep her hearing aids in a parking lot and can't wear them in the van so they come out before she goes outside. I had a day picking up Rhys with the girls were Gwen bolted on the road. I didn't have enough arms to run after her with Avery or the speed with Avery in my arms.

It was the scariest thing to happen since they came home from the NICU.

I still wished to teach Gwen safety instead of relying on a leash. But no matter how many times we tried she will bolt with no warning.

As a mom, it is terrifying. My child can't hear me, she can't detect were all the traffic sounds are coming from, and due to this tendency to run she is at a major risk.

So what to do, even with the knowledge of the backpack harnesses I couldn't bring myself to do it. It took the panic of almost loosing her and talking about my fears with other moms.

Gwen's SLP summed it up the best- you've done so much to give her the best in life and fought for her, give her this extra protection until she can trust herself in a parking lot.

Got her a little pink backpack and she loves going around with it,today was the first time we used the harness part. She was a good girl and held my hand the whole walk into audiology she had a harder time going back to the van but she was getting tired.

"Avery ook my ears!"

It was such a relief  that I could let her walk and that she could do it safely.

Yet I still got looks.

People who like me thought that its a crutch, maybe they thought I was lazy. I too had the reservations of using them. But you know what? Gwen was safe, independent and I didn't loose her to a preventable accident.

So judge away, but my baby is safe.

For all things there is a season

Life is busy, but would I have it any other way? Nope.

A lot has happened, and we are trying to settle into the new normal.

I went to the all day scrabooking fundraiser for the Sunshine Foundation . It was a great day, and I got 14 pages done in Gwen's book. I would take picks of them (and will later) but due to the camera incident I'm currently looking for my old SD card. During the fundraiser, I won not only the door prize but also one for making so many pages. It was great to get out for the day and just create. It was also great that I was able to do so for such a great cause and met a bunch of parents of much older NICU grads.

one cell pic of a double page layout I did

Gwen has gone back to audiology at the end of September. Her hearing is the same in the right and a little better in her left ear. They made casts for new earmolds, and we talked about her starting up speech language. After both girls going on the wait-list back in April 2012, we finally had appointment times for this week (Gwen's was supposed to be Monday & Avery's Wednesday) Both the audiologist and her AVT therapist were excited to get in touch and plan with the SL.

I also got the go ahead from them for getting Gwen's ears pierced, in fact they believe that it is the perfect time to do so, from their end. So now we just are trying to decide if we will get it done this coming weekend, or to wait until the Spring. Matthew and I have talked over the pros and cons, and both Nan's have been informed with expected results. The two main reasons why I think we might wait until Spring is because they need to stay in for so long and we have very cold winters not comfortable with earrings in, and because the girls are already at a high risk for illness why risk an infection on top of all the other bugs they will be fighting? We just want to both be well informed, but at the same time, we know that we can care for them properly and that we want them to get their ears done. I guess there is never the perfect time to do so.

Avery was to Physio and is expected to do fine, we just have to encourage her not to take both hands from people when walking. She was to speech language yesterday, and the SLT is very impressed with her vocab and her language comprehension. That is once she warmed up to the SLT. In the appointment we worked it out that her paralyzed vocal cord is in the worst position for speech. That we can't do much until she is older that we can tell her how to regulate her airflow to project her voice without straining her right vocal cord. Right now when she yells she is straining the cord. So she doesn't need to go back until March/April

Miss Ave

Avery was smiling by the end of the SLT appointment, a big victory due to her sobbing in my arms at the beginning. When asked what she thought of the appointment she said "that was some nice Mama" I jokingly said to her father it was proof that she spent the weekend down the southern shore.

The reason we were down the shore was that one of Matthew's 90 year-old Nan's passed away last week. She was much loved, and lived a great fulling life. I could only wish to be as loved and respected. Mrs Helen was waked on Sat & Sun then her funeral was Mon morning.

Mrs Helen with Rhys May 2008

Late Sun night I packed up Rhys and Gwen for the hour and a half drive home because Gwen's SL appointment was at the time that we would miss the funeral, it would have been at least a 4 month postponement to the appointment if I cancelled it. Rhys also had his school picture day on Monday. At 8:16 am Monday morning with both kids in the van, I got the call to cancel Gwen's appointment. We rushed over to Rhys' school got his pic done by 8:30 am then we headed down the shore again making it before the funeral to be there with the rest of the family. Most expensive school pic he will ever have taken.

I was glad to be there for Matthew, he did the first reading and he did really well given how emotional it was for him.

spent way too much time in the van this weekend 

Or family pics were put on the back burner which turned out to be a blessing because it was raining on the original day that we were planning on doing them. It also gives us more time to find a coat for Rhys that we like that is in his size.

Gwen's SL appointment has been rescheduled for tomorrow, so I am unsure what the plan for her is.

We also completely uncovered the wallpaper, and it looks to be in great shape. I think we might keep the green and work with it. Thankfully it is the same green in my inspiration pillow.

inspiration pillow 

wallpaper at night 

As I was typing I just got the call for Gwen's first visit with her itinerant teacher, its on the same day as our anniversary. So two home visits coming up. More reasons to make the wallpaper work for now.

And we have three birthday parties, two baby showers (on the same day) our anniversary, Thanksgiving and Halloween coming up. Who knows what else! I like to keep busy, but it would be nice if everything wasn't on the same day. We are missing out on the CHHA family Halloween fun day, because its on the baby shower day.

I also had gotten an awesome deal on a new SD card, unfortunately it took a few times using it and loosing some pics before I found out it was corrupt. I almost lost pics I took during the weekend with the family in because of the wake. I have also realized that most of the pics seem to look poorer quality from that card but that could have just been on my end ;) Thankfully Auntie Mae was able to have a look and found out that I had to re-install drivers to my computer and after much finagling we were able to fix my DSLR too. But that SD card is a write off. It is the lesser of the problems, but it sucks that my brand new card did so much damage and caused that much grief. Thanks again Auntie Mae!

1 appointment, 2 appointments, so many appointments!

Physio went well, we just have to keep Avery off her toes. So no more taking her hands for tip toe walking family.

Her physio therapist will see her again in a month, but she thinks that she will be walking walking by herself.


We also got the call finally from the speech language therapist office, they both were referred in April 2012 and they have separate appointments in October. Long wait list, even longer then what their letter suggested. Hoping to be able to get them on the same day for latter appointments.

Avery & Gwen 

Three little steps

She did it!

Well, only once. But Avery took three steps.

We still are seeing physio on Tuesday, who knows what is going to happen but yay she did it

blood pressure and Avery

Avery had her nephrology appointment today. Her nephrologist travels in from Nova Scota twice a year, and he is happy with how she did. He wants her blood pressure checked in November at her pedi appointment and he will see her again in the spring.

He also said that they will keep a close eye on her blood pressure at 7 years old until she hits puberty due to a reappearance in blood pressure issues.

Avery Sept 2013

We bumped into some NICU buddies all in for appointments. The Nephroligy day is a busy one, because something like 50% of pre 32 weekers will have high blood pressure when they hit term. And its getting caught more frequently in our NICU with a lot more pre 27 weekers staying in hospital past term. Avery would have been discharged before her diagnoses if she was a singleton but thanks to Gwen's O2 habit she got caught early and on meds right away.  

While in the hospital, we dropped by physio to let them know that she isn't walking on her feet yet. Miss Ave will walk around on her knees and if she takes your hands she toe walks, I did too as a child. I'm not that concerned, but its better to get it addressed and it be nothing then not and wish we did earlier. That, and it will reassure some family members. So she is getting seen next week.

Not looking forward to the fact that I added to the craziness that is the end of Sept appointments, but what can you do as a preemie parent?

broken record and some possible interesting news

I know I know, I'm busy.

Matthew had a week off so we fled to the southern shore to stay at his nanny's house after the girls cardio appointment.

So first the cardio appointment. It went really well, Gwen's pressures were fine so she got discharged.

Avery's blood pressure is perfect again so... she is off of meds officially and discharged from cardio too!!!!!

look how serene I am now that I have low/normal blood pressure 

Now she has a follow-up with Nephrology in September and her Nephrologist has the last say over her blood presser but it makes me hopeful. 

After their late (holy molly 3pm appointment that didn't start until 3:30pm) we headed off to Matthew's nanny's house. Rhys and the mother-in-law headed up with Matthew's aunt & nanny. While Matthew, the girls and I headed up in our rig. We got there after 7 so we tried to get set up to get the girls to bed. 

All three loved spending most of their time outside, Matthew loved spending time with the kids where he has some of his most favorite childhood memories. 

Matthew took these playing with the kids 

Rhys up a tree that Matthew climbed many times 

the girls playing hid and seek 

Avery enjoying the yard 

Gwen running around 

I loved spending more time with Matthew's family. Most of his aunts showed up for short visits during our time there due to the community one over having their come home year that week. It was also during Lady Day and they are from a good Irish Roman Catholic community with its own grotto so a big influx of visitors during our stay. 

grotto

Rhys running around before the service 

the girls waiting for it to start

Because of how devout some of Matthew's relatives are there were week long candles lit for the girls for at least as long as they were in the hospital (I know they were longer then that, but I can't remember how long) and so a bunch of the people there stopped me telling me that they prayed for the girls and how happy they were to see them now. 

Loved spending time with the family, and getting out of the city. 

So now we have a break until sometime mid September before there is another doctors appointment, and I'm glad for the break. 

Rhys starts up school in only a few weeks, were did the time go??? Still waiting to hear about what session he is in be it mornings or afternoons. But regardless he is all ready, all the school supplies are bought and ready to go! 

Also, I wanted to let you guys know that I might be doing a guest blog for someone that I have been following for a few years during her TTC journey. I will let you know more when I hear it but it is exciting to think about. I will keep you posted! 

Vacations, Walking, Appointments, Regatta oh my!

Life has been busy.

What, really, you ask? Life is busy with three kids?

I feel like this is how I'm starting lots of blog posts recently.

Since I last posted the girls had their 18/19 month assessment at the PPP on July 25th.  And they got assessed at 18/19 so we don't have to go back until they are 3 year olds!!!! You won't believe how excited I was to finally get the "they are behaving like their actual age, not their adjusted age"

After the appointment we went on a mini vacation with my parents and in-laws. The kids loved it and so did we! On the second day Gwen decided that all she needed to walk was an empty 4L bottle of water in her hand and all the family to see her. Since then she hasn't stopped!

While on vacation Matthew and I marked our 10 year dating anniversary on the 27th. We didn't do too much because we were running around enjoying our vacation so yesterday we went to lunch with the girls to acknowledge it.

three little monkeys on the top bunk 

Also during the vacation we were able to spend some alone with Rhys and drive to the Aviation museum and swing by the silent witness memorial. Rhys loved the special attention and being the big boy doing big boy things, but he also insisted that we buy somethings for the girls while we were there.

Captain calling 

flight simulator 

Look how big the gun is dad!

Looking at the different planes and "all the mechanical pieces"

plane going though the museum 

silent witness

Daddy and Rhys taking in the memorial 

We also went to the touch tank in Terra Nova Park. Avery tried to climb into it she loved it that much

Avery is excited!

Trying to get into the tank!!!!

Touching it all 

Mom look what I did!!!!

After the vacation there have been a bunch of appointments. Avery doesn't have to see ENT for 9 months. Gwen's AVT is happy with her word count. They will be getting their speech therapy appointments in the next few months and next week we get the big cardio appointment to see if Avery is to stay off her meds and to see if the pressures in Gwen's heart have lowered like expected.

This past week we also got to go down to the Royal St. John's Regatta. The kids loved it and this is the girls second one (third if we count their time in-utero)

Regatta 2013 (Avery & Gwen) 

Regatta 2012 (Gwen & Avery) 

I know there is more I want to talk about but I have two baby girls who are climbing all over me! Back to life